There Are Better Ways To Die Than With A Needle To Your Neck


I am a bit of a hoarder.  I like things that are useful. I like to be prepared.  So, when I go to fancy hotels and they have free toiletries, I take some.
My favorite are sewing kits. They are incredibly useful.  You never know when you might need to sew on a button, fix a hole, darn some socks. There is a tiny box with a couple buttons, a variety of thread pre strung onto needles. When I find one, I chuck into my baggage, to be ready for a fashion disaster. In my carryon there are multiple sewing kits rattling around at any one time.
Flying in the world has become more and more of an ordeal. Nowhere more so than Jordan. Because of its proximity to people who don’t like us, Jordanian flights to the US must undergo extra scrutiny.  For a short time, laptops and Ipads were banned carry-on items. Then, under threat of losing all flights to the US, they had to promise to be extra careful with flights headed directly there.
So, they did.
Now, after you’ve had your bag scanned at the entrance to the airport, and after you have your bag scanned to get through normal airport security, one must line up and have all your bags hand searched by real-live people.  Men are searched by men. Women are searched by women. It easily adds an hour to the boarding process. They’ve walled off one section of the airport just for these American flights and their searches.
I’ve flown to the U.S. three times now recently.  I go extra early.  I stand in line. I get my belongings rifled through. Each time, they open my bag, pocket by pocket. And each time they pull out my sewing kits and give me a finger wag and throw them in the trash.
This latest time, I laughed and said, “For sewing” mimicking sewing on a button.  They just shook their head. One of the guys took his finger and poked it into his neck.
“Really?!”  He smiled and shrugged, all the while overlooking the following…
my eyeglass repair kit
a rubber-tipped dental pick
a mirror, a razor
a charging block
a cord
nail clippers
wire rim glasses
I believe I would have a better chance of beating one to death with my Ipad than killing someone with a needle to the neck. Breaking off a piece of glass and shimming in betweens someone’s ribs.
But took the needles they did.
You may be shivved, stabbed, bludgeoned or strangled, but be rest assured, America, your necks will not suffer the tiny pricks of terrorists.  Thanks Al Qaeda!


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